There are a mind-boggling 132 rooms inside the White House, a sumptuous, sprawling complex that spreads over six stories and spans an impressive 55,000 square feet.
Surely, we thought, when we convened in our rather more modest studio here in Saunderstown to formulate our latest grand plan, with all that space to fill, there has to be room for an OM somewhere within the walls of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
It pays, according to the old adage, to have friends in high places and we’re going right to the top. You might have noticed in recent times, our ambition, like our enthusiasm, knows no bounds.
Do you like our latest special edition OM? He’s bound for the finest address in the land, the Executive Mansion, a gift suitable for a President, for The President. Here in our studio, he is known as OMbama, or President OMbama to you.
Gosh, what a grand trip for our finest of friends, from OM HQ to DC, from our home to the President’s, from our house to The White House, what a tale to tell, what an adventure.
First the MTV Movie Awards, then Tim Burton and now this, we do like to set our sights high. Hockey’s not our area of expertise in Saunderstown, but even we’ve heard of Wayne Gretzky, aka The Great One, the NHL’s finest. “You miss with 100% of the shots you don’t take,” he once said.
This is, granted, the longest of long shots, but heck, we’re taking it, and we’re giving it everything that we’ve got.
Gretzky’s fearsome shots found the mark more often than not. But do you know what? Ours do too, more and more these days, we’re starting to realise.
So let’s do it, let’s send an OM – a presidential OM – to the most famous address in the United States, nay, the world. For there is no-one on the planet – no-one over a certain age, that is – unaware of who lives in The White House, unaware of its significance.
History’s most-famous men – George Washington excepted – have all lived there, worked there, strode the corridors, made the big decisions, the courageous calls.
From Roosevelt to Reagan, Tyler to Taft and Bush to, well, Bush, they’ve all called The White House home, they’ve all connected. Now it’s President Obama’s turn, and perhaps President OMbama too. That’s our hope, our aim, our dream.
Can it be more than a dream? Don’t think we’re naive, well, not completely, please. In between making all these OMs, we’ve watched all seven seasons of The West Wing, so we know how it tends to work.
Look, we know that the President doesn’t open his own mail, we don’t expect our OM to make it into the Oval Office or to find a home on the Resolute Desk. There’s a good chance that our OM, harmless and loveable though he is, might not even make it past the Secret Service, or that he’ll be filed alongside the countless other gifts sent to Pennsylvania Avenue each day, or that he might just disappear in the abyss that is the cavernous White House Mail Room.
But maybe, just maybe, our OM will make it, through all the filtering, through all the checks, to The President himself, Obama and OMbama together, that’s our vision as we strive to advance our plan to connect the planet, from the very top to the very bottom, taking in all points in between.
It’s a gamble, sure, but if you don’t buy a ticket, you don’t win the raffle. So here goes, here’s our ticket, and boy, what an amazing ticket it is.
Fingers crossed, the big prize is coming our way, the biggest prize of them all!
Let’s go President OMbama! Let’s connect!
We are all connected.